Don't Romanticize my Resilience.

Life is beautiful, but it is definitely not easy. I understand this well, and if you are not aware of it yet, you will eventually realize it to some degree.

My journey has been full of obstacles, but I remain resilient. Being alive means recognizing, whether consciously or unconsciously, your privileges. When certain privileges are not afforded to you, certain actions become necessary. As a strong woman, I was determined to take these actions.

Even as a child, I recognized that my hair, skin color, and gender served as barriers in society, but they were also all I had. Moving to a foreign land added more obstacles. Now, I am an immigrant with what some might call a pronounced accent, but to me, it is a symbol of my roots. I may seem like the perfect target for society’s judgments, but I am determined to prove otherwise: I am strong, and that is the face I intend to present to the world. If opportunities were not given to me, I was prepared to fight for them, and I did.

Some people looked at me with deep admiration for my experiences, but others focused only on my achievements, ignoring the pain, struggles, and traumas I faced (and continue to face). I truly value this perspective, but I beg you not to romanticize it. I am proud of who I have become and what I have accomplished, but the process has been agonizing—physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Oh, how hard it was, and how social privilege played a significant role. I am well aware of my privileges, and to be completely honest, I have wished countless times that I had more privileges or at least that the major barriers would be dismantled (racism, sexism, colorism, immigration, and so on). I have shed tears and carried wounds that sometimes still feel fresh. I have faced neglect, but I have also neglected myself, under the impression that in order to win this battle I must suppress my emotions. Yet, time and time again, people have looked at me and said, “You are so strong; I wish I was like you.” No, you see me through a distorted lens, a romanticized view that never existed.

There are days when I believe I am winning, and other days when the struggle seems endless. I am grateful for the significant role models and supportive people who have walked alongside me on this journey. I know you do not mean to diminish my suffering and you genuinely want to celebrate my achievements, but I ask that you view me with compassion and recognize that beneath my strength is deep pain. Remind me that it is okay to slow down, to feel, to cry, to laugh, and to simply be.